i'm not going to be fake, i'm not going to lie, i'm not going to bullshit. it's all a waste of time & effort.. & if you want to sit there & lie to me or "pretend" that's fine i really don't give a shit.

you are who you are. i don't want any part of that. i'm over being in high school.

when you can be honest with yourself, & everyone around you.. then we'll talk.

& no i'm not fucking okay. i got hit by a fucking car. thank you. i'm done defending how i feel or what i say i have emotions. i'm only human. maybe you should try it.

i love that i found out today from my roommate that my ex is lying about why we broke up.. IT HAPPENED A YEAR AGO GET OVER IT i really don't give a shit.. he can tell people i beat him & fucked animals if he wanted.. i don't care..

truth: i didn't want the same things
his truth: he wasn't happy (duh i wasn't gonna marry him or pop out babies)

more truth..
i don't think i ever really loved you.
you weren't man enough.
our sex life was bad.
you were far too needy.
i had to give up so much of myself & my life.
you lived with your mom till you were thirty, if it wasn't for me you'd still be there.


real life.. you've changed who you are to be with this new girl, good luck with that buddy.. you're thirtytwo.. figure your shit out.

it's the little things that make life.. absolutely.
someone can say completely innocent & out of left field & it can & most likely will make your day. amazing.

i want butterflies. i'm not building any expectations. you win some you lose some. it's life.
but there are always going to be things that you desire.

I want to sit down and listen to someone be able to look into the their eyes and hear the words pour out of their heart and not their mind...not that that makes any sense but I want to be totally wrapped up into someone and be able to learn everything there is to learn about them and be able to talk for hours on end and be totally content these are the things that make me happy...

i've lost the ability to talk & form thoughts since i stopped talking so long ago.

peoples stupidity never creases to amazes me.. don't tell me you called my bank & they told you my address was wrong.. THEY MAIL ME MY STATEMENTS! so i hang up & call them.. surprise my address is correct. send my goddamn running shoes.